Gina Molinari yoga, wellness, travel and coaching
In attempt to make sense of it all…
How quickly my attention, passion, drive shifts from one thing to the next (with social media distractions along the way to slow myself down). I’ve got SO MUCH TO SAY, to teach, to share. Sure, I want to monetize it (but not because I value richness of money, but to have money means less time invested in survival means more time sharing/teaching), but really I want people around me to feel rich and fulfilled. I don’t want any more “woe is me” monologues. I want to be surrounded by empowered people using their gifts and skills to pursue an aligned and meaningful life. I want those people to be YOU, no exceptions. I want every person on this planet to be uplifted by every other person so, together, we can achieve [happiness]. I want the activists to stand on the tallest mountain of a soapbox with a crowd around them listening and activating. I want inventors to create their Thing. Writers and artists and musicians to share their art and soul without starving. I want people to get out of their bubbles, to experience the world and her cultures, and UNDERSTAND how interconnected we are, we must be. To travel, to interact, the greatest warriors against our blissful ignorance. To look eachother deeply in the eyes and see our commonalities and embrace the uniqueness of our differences. I want you to excite over the contractions of fear and insecurity because you know the brilliant expansion that follows. I want people who are shooting for the stars to not give up when the air gets thin. Support systems, communities that uplift. A network of motivators, instigators, and creators rising up in a floodgate crushing wave of people getting OUT THERE, doing what they love. Sure, in many moments I may look scatterbrained. There may be too many commas to make sense of the sentence. But inside, beyond the anxiety of getting it all done, I am a giddy little girl, OVERJOYED. Literally, it’s pouring out of my shaking hands and exploding chest. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DAMN MUCH. I’m overflowing with all the Love I never knew how to direct, how to show. I want to pour it over you and wrap you in it. I want you to feel it and spread it like a vine that covers all the hopeless and dead things and colors them vibrantly alive. I LOVE YOU and I want you to feel ease, abundance, joy, passion, hope, meaning. These are not just words. They are yours. You can have them and I am willing to work tirelessly to show you how. Watch my example, listen when I teach through stories, TRY IT when I challenge you. Step out, step up, and believe in yourself in the ways I believe in you. Strangers, you too. You don’t know my Love and I don’t have your story, but I believe in you because I am 100% certain that success is there waiting for you. I am beyond the blindfolds and shackles of ignorance and I know this is the Truth. This LOVE I have inside, spilling out, it’s in you. May the tides of my own moondrawn sea pull your own a bit closer to shore so we may touch it, taste it, and be washed over in the KNOWING of your magnificence. No part of me wants to stand alone in my Joy. No part of me says “this is only mine”. I can’t walk on water, nor would I, unless you were there with me. A sea of empowered individuals. This peace is no satisfaction if I’m in it alone. Join me on these shores. Dip your toes into water at the edge of the terrifyingly abysmal unknown. Look out at the potential, possibility and know that it belongs to you. Let me hold your fear while you navigate those waves. Let your Brothers and Sisters pick you up and wipe the sand from you, just as you will do for them. I digress… I’m doing this because I believe with every fiber of my being that you deserve it. I’ll figure it out because I want it to make sense for you, so you believe it. My topics may seem wide or disconnected (travel, yoga, career), but they all boil down to this: This one, precious life is yours. You deserve, and you can, without a doubt, live a life you are absolutely in LOVE with. You are capable of, and you will, turn potential into practice, dreams into reality. You are all this and so much more. If you believe you have no one in your corner, please look up to see me here. Look up and feel the presence of a Universe that loves you unconditionally and wants you to succeed. Unconditionally. Please stand up, because someone is watching YOU and you will inspire someone else. Please lead the life you WANT, not the life you’ve limited yourself to. Start the wildfire that will consume doubt, smallness, and wasted potential. Transform yourself into the Phoenix you’ve been hiding. Rise from your own ashes, and as you soar beyond, let the power of your wings clear space and create light for all those behind you, waiting to transform themselves. I’m doing this because, as a Human, as a creature of this Earth and a being of this dimension, I KNOW we are more. But we must all wake up. You need to create your art. You need to speak your truth. You need to guide your people. All this in the name of that ultimate LOVE.
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Indulgent and delicious. Frozen bananas are the base to many vegan treats. They replace ice cubes, blend to a creamy consistency, and don't taste anything like bananas. Yield: about 4 servings (but I don't really measure anything) 4 frozen ripe bananas (without peels) 2 Tbs cacao powder shake of cinnamon 1 Tbs shredded coconut 1 cup milk alternative 2 shots Kahlua or Baileys (*optional*) Blend in a Vitamix or other super strong blender. It should end up rather thick, not liquid like a smoothie. Adjust the amount of milk or bananas accordingly. Freeze 2-3 hours. Indulge.
Yesterday afternoon I received more e-mails, Facebook messages, and Instagram messages than I’ve ever collectively received in one day. They all stemmed from an Instagram story I posted with a picture of The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris and the caption “Re-studying the book that got me out of the 9-5 grind”.
I shared it from my sunny backyard on a Tuesday afternoon, rather than from a cubicle. The only boss telling me what to do was myself. I was studying something not only out of utility, but for the joy of it. Basically, I modeled living life on my own terms and showied by example that I was thriving. First of all, if you’ve never read the book, I highly suggest it, even if you like your 9-5 gig. (This is an affiliate link if you want tograb a copy) Here’s why: it lays out, with practical questions and clearly defined steps, how to live life on purpose. Not creating tasks for the sake of getting something done. Not keeping yourself small by setting small goals. Not wasting your freedom when you’ve found it. A wise woman said to me the other day “…then I realized life is not a dress rehearsal and I booked [that thing]”. We get one shot at this lifetime and we damn well better make the most of it. Live passionately, act with intent, and experience your life on purpose. Take one step today. Bonus points if you aim at something so big it nearly seems impossible. PS – I hear you guys and I’m coming to answer your calls. In the coming weeks I’m putting together a system to support you in getting what you want. I want to share practical steps to transitioning from a job you had forever, planning the trip you’ve dreamt about, or creating a balanced lifestyle. Call it coaching if you want, but it’s support from my heart to you. When I was in high school, I loved making art (Most Artistic Superlative, in fact!) Pencil and charcoal were my favorites and I was quite good at still life or copying things. The process of breaking down an object’s structure, form, texture, and patterns and recreating them was so satisfying.
Something drawn with a pencil or pen yeilds a precise and defined line. It has edges, a beginning and an end, and its structure is clear. In a way, a line drawn in ink or pencil is permanent – a mark of the past. Painting was another story. While I ultimately made a few works I am proud of (they hang in my parents house), it was always an arduous project. I hated waiting for the paint to dry. In my mind, I saw a clean straight line like the ones my pencil would make. I visualized the whole picture all at once and wanted the process of getting it on the paper to be immediate, but the colors kept bleeding together. My efforts for order were constantly tested. The edges blurred and smudged to transform something so concrete and precise into undefined chaos. Every brushstroke held the past, present, and possibility to be influenced by the next. It got messy. Before there was a chance for things to settle, life had already begun adding to the picture and what seemed simple and defined became a brilliant mixture of past, present, and what is still to come. Lately, my formal art is limited to the watercolor set I bought at a convenience store and tattoo ink, but in my unfolding, I’ve found joy in the chaos of paint. It teaches patience. Encourages me to find form in the abstract, or to let the picture remain undefined. Its volatile nature challenges me to explore the things I am uncomfortable with. It’s nice to know where edges lie and to rely on something staying as it was, but that’s not really realistic. On the other hand, we can approach the art of our life with a paintbrush and palette, knowing that the color of one event may not dry before the next is added. Watch the lines blend and become messy, yet still see the beauty in the imperfection. Understand the patience required to let the paint dry before we try cleaning up the lines. Life gets messy. We don’t always have the opportunity, tools, time, or patience to let things fully settle and make sense before something else is added in. When it looks like nondescript chaos, remember that blurred lines are places of possibility and opportunities to shift perception. Our lives are beautiful works of art. Sometimes I write something that I’m not sure I want my parents to read, but I feel it needs to be shared anyway. Honest and bare, even if it’s hard to swallow. Uncomfortably candid.
Bitch isn’t really about me. It’s your problem. It’s the way you feel, not the way I am. It’s your reaction, not my action. Bitch is the title you placed on me because I didn’t meet your expectations. You wanted a version of me that didn’t fit into the mold you’d crafted. In my shattering of the image you twisted, your hurt/fear/anger was reassigned to me. Here we have an unfortunately common situation: I can smile and be polite, but that doesn’t mean I have a crush on you. We can go to the beach together, or even out to lunch, but that doesn’t mean I want to go home with you. It may seem surprising, but I can even invite you to come out with my friends and it doesn’t imply I am “down to fuck”. In fact, there are so many ways I can simply be a decent person and it gets interpreted as something you make up in your mind. Implications of grey created between black and white lines. Condemned by my decorum. Your expectations Perceptions of me, shattered Assigned Title: Bitch I’ll embrace it. In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more, and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day. When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way. Late at night, I call my long distance lover, proudly say I only used fifty-nine today. I saved the rest for you. When she doesn’t respond, I know she’s used up all her words, so I slowly whisper I love you thirty-two and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line and listen to each other breathe. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to tell now, but I spent a lot of my life walking on eggshells under the assumption that if I messed up, caused too much noise, needed things, or generally took up space, it would result in anger, disapproval, and lack of love from the people I was hoping to be accepted by. These habits became a cyclical nightmare of bad relationships, unhealthy choices, disordered eating, stunting my personal growth, and overall keeping my Self small. I talk about this a lot, I know. It’s important though. Confidence is defined “a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities” or “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something”. That someone is you, Love. Staying small doesn’t get you very far. It’s a great place to hide for awhile, but ultimately it’s uncomfortable and your Soul will writhe in agony until it has busted through the self-limiting chains you’ve restricted it to. I’m in Germany right now where I know about eight words (which I can only say in a sadly American accent). My confidence has been challenged every day through a combination of trivial things that add up to me feeling incompetent. Grocery shopping is an arduous task when I try to read the labels and follow signs I don’t understand around a store. When someone looks at me to converse, I stare blankly with my brain in limbo somewhere between English, Spanish, and the useless German words Duolingo taught me. I’m staying in an impeccably orderly and efficient (it IS Germany) home where I usually mess up using the fancy appliances. Reality isn’t actually punishing me for “messing up”. The people around me are giving nothing but support for the things I’m trying to do and understanding for my barriers. In fact, I’m not even met with the exasperation, disappointment, and earth shattering annoyance I expect. Instead, I’m given patience and instruction in a way that is entirely understanding of my good intentions and expresses a genuine care for me to learn. I could chose to stay small and try to hide under the radar, but where will that get me? I’d rather stand tall and confident, with a noisy mess of crushed eggshells beneath me. I am not incompetent – I’m learning. I've got lots of big plans for the future. Places to be, things to do, people to connect with.
Yet, I'm pretty clueless about exactly where those places will be, what I'll be doing, and with who. The way I see it, we have the general direction we are trying to move in: The Big Path. That's the one that encompasses our values, aspirations, passions, etc. It's the rather vague, but brilliantly glowing light of our future. All the details are fuzzy, but we know where it is. We align ourselves towards the vast and curious Big Path. Then there's the Little Path. These are the specific footsteps you take along the process. The places you'll go, people you'll connect with, and unique experiences that will shape your unfolding. The Little Path exists in the Now and you really won't know what it looks like until you're on it. We get to release control of the Little Path, unburden ourselves with the details and allow Grace to draw our trail as we walk it. When we really, truly trust Grace, we can rest assured that we are still within the Big Path, even if the circumstances along the way look gloomy. What a relief, right? Maintain your compass to align you towards the Big Path and then release control over the details. It may be even more amazing than you imagined. (This post is a Love Note. Want this kind of goodness delivered to your inbox twice weekly? Sign up here.) Realizing my previous post was also about my car, I assume you can grasp how important she is to me.
Her name is GiGi. She's a 2011 VW GTI and we've been together for 134,000 miles. Hands down, she is the most expensive thing I've ever invested in, and as a VW, maintenance is also pricey. That said, I take great care of her. She gets oils changes on time, scheduled maintenance, and I happily spend 3 hours detailing her. Her check engine light came on in early October. After an expensive service to change the spark plugs, I was informed that the CEL was due to a carbon build up on the intake valves causing the engine to misfire. Each time a cylinder fired, the valve couldn't close, so some of that energy would get wasted. My car was putting in all the effort, but only getting out part of the energy. The labor intensive repair would cost about $800. In simpler terms, I wasn't able to run on all cylinders, but my car still ran. For months, I ignored the ding and flashing light every time I turned on the car. About a month ago, I realized my fuel economy had gone down by about 10mpg. Nonetheless, the repair was expensive and I could still get by on my misfiring engine, so I put it off. What if we looked at what I was doing to my car and put ME in her place? Taking care of myself until it became expensive or inconvenient. Delaying some serious work because things are operating "fine". Putting in the effort but not reaping 100% of the benefits because I was just not in the shape to properly convert effort to output. It was a ton of energy being thrown into a bowl with a hole. Do you ever do this? You can see an issue in your life or lifestyle that needs to be adjusted. You even have the solution and the tools to get it done, but you delay it because it's easier or cheaper to just get by as is. After whining about it, delaying, and shopping around as a means of procrastination, I finally had the repair done. It ultimately cost $1,200 because the issue exacerbated having been left for so long (new fuel injectors). It's okay though. Despite the massive cost, I picked up GiGi feeling proud of myself for taking care of her. The cost was an investment in her well-being, a worthy purchase to keep us traveling for many more miles and experiencing many more adventures. I need her to be healthy so I can get to work, to visit family, and to catch up with friends. Driving from PA to NJ after the repair, I smiled as I watched my fuel economy jump back to it's pre-misfire numbers. It felt good to have taken care of her. It also reminded me how crucial it is that I invest in my well-being with just as much commitment as I ultimately did for GiGi. Even though I can function with a misfire, I am worth taking care of myself so I can fire on all cylinders. No wasted energy. My car was out of fuel and a friend, wanting to be helpful, started to put gas in, but it was 89 grade and my car requires 93. This is a fact, not a preference. Without 93, she runs poorly, sputtering to start and jolting during the drive. At 91 she will stall, and 89 is just impossible. 89 is cheaper though, and it seemed out of line to ask for the higher grade when the fuel was being gifted to me.
I watched this happen for a few gallons, knowing full well that the gas would cause more harm to my engine than truly fuel me, but embarrassed to speak up and decline the help. Then the levity of that truth struck me and I stopped the gas pump, saying "My car can't run on 89. It needs 93." This was a dream, of course. In reality, I would never allow 89 octane in my precious GTI. However, in dreamworld this isn't about gas at all. There are so many ways this dream could be perceived. It's a mashup of cliches: "Quality over quantity." "Everyone is trying their best." "You can't pour from an empty cup." "Don't settle for less than you deserve." Honestly, I'm still working through it and the many lenses the scenario can be viewed through. At first glance, it looks like I'm being offered assistance that isn't actually of service, and that I'm feeling too obligated to graciously accept the support without being particular about whether it is actually serving me. I need to exercise my power to speak up and say "No" where the answer is clear. Maybe it's an encouragement to recharge in my classic introverted ways rather than seek external fuel, which often puts an extra load on my system. Take care of myself in the ways I know I can rather than turning to the comfort of others to cope with feelings of emptiness. On the flipside, this dream could be a message to me to be cautious about how and where I offer my support. A reminder that if I cannot commit to the whole, high octane experience, I should find a different way to be there. A new way of saying, you can't help everyone, even if you have the best intentions. Wow, dream interpretation can go so many ways. I suppose the point is to get me to notice what's going on here on the waking plane and encourage seeing it through a different perspective. What's your take? |
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