Since then, my personal writing has progressed to a lot of run on sentences as my train of thought derails trying to figure out what I’m feeling, why I’m feeling it, and what it all means on a universal scale. My tone and outlook has become far less bleak and more hopeful as I seek life lessons amidst things like the relationships I call into my life and if I should eat ice cream (usually, yes).
The one thing that is still the same though is the purpose of the writing. Back then I’d totally call it bitching, but now I’ve embraced the term “emotional detoxification”.
We all do it in some form. Maybe you write. Maybe you call up your best friend, parent, or therapist. Maybe you yell it across a sticky bar to the oh so polite bartender. Maybe you share it with whoever happens to be sitting next to you on the train. It could be a physical detox like running, yoga, or jumping on the bed. Whatever form it takes, it serves the same purpose: it’s trying to get whatever is eating at us OUT. Emotional detoxing is healthy!
I’m all about venting, but when was the last time you stopped and listened to (or read) what it was you are venting about? Did you notice that we often repeat the same woes, revisit the same annoyances, and relive the things that are eating away at us? We’ll need to emotionally detox and our mind’s first reaction is “Oh! I know how to do this. [Searches through backlogs]”. Maybe the same conversation rehashes each time you see a particular friend. Consider the prefabricated thoughts that run through your mind as you sit down at your desk on Monday morning. We end up revisiting the same stories because that’s what’s been stored in our mental and emotional cache.
Think about your internet browser. You open Facebook and all the sudden there’s ads on Facebook for the maca powder you were just searching on Vitacost, or trying to sell you tickets to the Sixers game because it knows you live near Philly. You go to check out on Amazon and the webpage has already filled in your personal information (creepy). With a few clicks, we can delete that stored information. We reset the cache, defragment. No more autofilling. No more creepy algorithms anticipating what we want to see and read about.
Our brilliant minds like to auto-fill, too. They like to come into a situation and find the stored information – it’s easier and sometimes helps us avoid the real issues that are begging to be brought to light. The mind likes to predict the situation based on former circumstances rather than letting us build it moment by moment. As a result, our emotional detox is just a rehashing of the last time we felt a lot of SOMETHING and needed to release it, and nothing really gets released. It’s not that we are blocked from deleting the information and filling it in fresh, but our mind is given a story right off the bat and sets us off in a predetermined direction.
Not only does the mind keep us locked in the past by pulling up the saved information, but it’s also preventing us from truly experiencing the present. When we step into a situation with preconceived notions, it prevents us from entering with a beginner’s mind – feeling and experiencing the situation with a fresh new set of metaphorical eyes. In our asana practice, we become disconnected from the messages the body is truly sending. We anticipate and just roll through the motions.
It doesn’t take any clicks or tech savvy to clear your emotional or mental cache. All it takes is stepping back from a situation long enough to accept it as new, as an ever evolving moment. Witness and live in the present rather than reacting and pulling up patterns from the past. Moment by moment by moment. Be here, now. And now. And NOW.
With that, I’m making a conscious effort and promise to myself (and you) that as I blog I will do so with a cleared cache each and every time. I certainly won’t revert back to the settings of my highschool blogger self. Even more, I will challenge myself to be sure that each post is coming from a centered state of what is going on NOW. I won’t let my cache show me what I expect to see, the old information that makes me follow the same patterns. I promise to dump and start anew, reacting to the current situation and living fully in the NOW.
When was the last time you cleared your cache?